like a solitary cloud, that floats above the mountains, the vast green expanses, fantastic visions of a time in which all people live without knowing.
floated lonely as a cloud, not better or worse than flying over it, not for a single destination, non-privileged or disadvantaged.
just floated and I was different. Different from all those who showed me as unusual, as wrong as impaired to normal.
guilty of the most serious fault of all, be punished with loneliness, tortured silence.
Constantly waiting, hovering between the ages, always looking for something ...
My soul had deteriorated and older than any other soul I ever met, despite my young age.
My essence these injuries and lacerations, to destroy any other soul. Ripped
over and over again, always closer to the end and yet still so far away.
So I just have to wait and wait ... and I waited patiently and intolerant to pain, because my spirit was strong. Tempered by the infinite pain.
But it was not always so.
Once I lived among them, among all those other men. I had relations with them, they were called friendship and love and hate, and in many other ways they were spoken.
My mind worked fervently and thoughts overlapped in my mind. My emotions and my feelings were deep, so I'd give anything to those with whom I relate.
in return receive the only thing that I deserve. I had to be punished. Lack of understanding I received from everyone. But I could not comprehend that there was something wrong with my behavior. Even then I began to understand.
was crossing the road hard and tiring it would take me to enlightenment.
One day the bonds were so strong with the men who break them would irreparably destroyed the part closest to the other of my spirit.
was the punishment he deserved. So it was back and I was punished. But the punishment has a single purpose. It is to give lessons and the only lesson that can exist is unique and indispensable, can not exist outside of this class. Since this is the only truth, the only certainty among all the doubts surrounding the men.
And she imparts this knowledge. It is the verb, the flame that animates everything that has a physical container.
ether, the universe has no rules, no truth, no false knowledge, not knowledge. There is no other, there is no normal, there is a thought who could point the way ahead.
And my understanding was punished.
Not to take the blinders, not to have preconceptions, to understand that we are all a coincidence, a set of organic matter due to some chemical reaction produces thoughts and reasoning.
The men have long established rules, tacit rules that are everywhere. Many of them advocate the freedom of their soul. Many believe they have removed the blinders off, to be truly free. It is this concept that betrays them. Everything that happens in every place and every time is just a coincidence, the thought of a man is different from that of another man just by coincidence, because both occur in different chemical processes that lead to different results. A man can decide to kill another, but he can not be blamed or accused of this act.
And it is this freedom I have. And this is my infinite guilt. My condemnation. The understanding of everything ... Many
weak minds can not conceive a life without purpose and no reason, the result of coincidence or a great combination that led to this result rather than a different one.
The only dilemma that is omnipresent in my mind, however, give my mind and tears of incurable wounds my soul.
What I call freedom, it is clear, for pure conventionalism, it is not the ultimate goal to which all aspire. Our existence has no purpose and no freedom of our being dissociated from our will. Separates us from all reports, leads us into an endless waiting, which is not in sight even more daring with the hope the end.
A perfect trap, with no possibility of escape.
And my existence is reduced to fiction and compromise.
Because they are forced to live with my self eager to be a prisoner in the same cage that deprives people of freedom. Not at all eager to see what could mean the awareness of the futility of human existence. Of thought and intellect. Prisoner of the same rules and finally able to externalize the same feelings that I have destroyed.
Like a lonely cloud that hovers seemingly carefree, seemingly closer to the ether, were found guilty and my sentence is freedom. And I'm totally a prisoner of it.
E. Bignardelli
As a cloud ... by Emanuele Bignardelli is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Italy License .
